The good, the bad, and the cancer

This week’s topic…drum roll, please…cancer. Cervical cancer to be more exact. January is cervical cancer awareness month, and up until a week ago, I would have thought nothing of it. Revert to last Friday when I got a phone call from my Dr.’s nurse stating they wanted to send me for a follow-up smear due to my abnormal test results. Uh, what? Come to find out, I have LSIL, or Low-grade squamous intraepithelial lesion. Which isn’t the worst it could be, but it isn’t great. I’ve spent a lot of time researching this past week not just on the medical side of the topic, but on the personal side as well. I’ve read several inspirational blogs by women who have been through far worse than what I hopefully will have to endure, but all in all, I must say I end this week on a higher note than I began.

I think women talking openly about the subject has been the most helpful thus far. I have gotten very open and in touch with a few women in my life over this past week in search for the validation that no matter what comes my way, I am going to  be okay. I know no one or nothing can provide any guarantee of that, but knowing some of the things they have experienced provides some sort of solace. I think at this point, it all just sort of has the same scare effect, precancerous vs cancerous. I’ve never been here before, I’ve never had somethihng wrong with my body. Either way, something is wrong with my womanhood. I remember stting in the bathtub a few days ago wondering to myself, “What if I can’t have another baby? Will he still love me?”.  Granted, that was my low point.

But, the conclusion I have come to in all of this, is that no matter what, I’m not alone. There are thousands upon thousands of women going through this exact thing (some even wayyyy worse). AND I have a wonderful family and support team behind me. So that’s really all that matters. There are always going to be slumps and bumps along the way, but it’s our choice in how we handle them. Sitting around moping didn’t get me anywhere. In fact, it got me even more worked up, which is completely unnecessary. Positivity takes work sometimes, but it’s worth it. I truly believe that.

On a side note, I truly want to express the importance of getting your annual smear. Prevention is key when it comes to cervical cancer, and the hope with me, is that they caught my abnormalities early enough before they have time to actually develop into anything else.So do it.Who knows, it could save your life.

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